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What an amazing sermon by my Pastor on 'Alignment' yesterday.
For the last little while, the word to best define what I do in the realm of coaching and in the lives of people I serve has eluded me. Alignment is exactly the word I was looking for. How many of us live misaligned with our identity, purpose, calling, personality, character, and on & on? Who you are matters. What your purpose is, matters. What your calling is, matters. All of it matters. Any of those areas being out of alignment throws off the overall distance you can travel, thwarts your overall effectiveness, and minimizes the drive you have for life. How much more does this apply to a father? A misalignment of priorities can invade our lives so pervasively. Eventually, relationships collapse, bonds are frayed, resentment grows, divide widens, and worse & worse things get. The alignment analogy is perfect here, because if you drive around on a flat tire long enough, other tires fail to compensate and eventually, you’ll be scratching the floor with the bottom of your vehicle; the conclusion is fatal & irreparable. Take some time to yourself, clue into the areas in life that are out of alignment & make the necessary adjustments now. Let’s discover together what that looks like for you.
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Do you remember when you first learned to swing? I don’t mean the dance, I mean the ones at a playground.
I remember my first time, when my dad was telling me to swing my legs without anyone pushing me. Even at a young age, I felt like nothing was happening, it definitely wasn’t fun and in frustration would just give up. Looking back now, it’s incredibly applicable to life. So many times, we want to be in the midst of major swings in life, launching a new venture or making major changes, it needs to be perfect & polished, and when it doesn’t happen, we give up. In my own life, I’ve seen this in various forms, starting a new business, or getting into meditation, my own fitness, and the list goes on. The thing is, we’re only getting started and the swings are eventually going to come but even in the midst of tucking & extending our legs, things are happening. Wherever you’re at in your story of life, whether you’re a business owner, career person, or parent, just know that where you’re currently at isn’t where you’re going to be forever. When you zoom out of the present place you’re at, you’ll realize that there’s many more pages to the chapter book that is your life. It’s building up to an epic climax, of a comeback story, that’s unfolding in your own unique way. Keep pumping those legs and, over time, you’ll see you’re on the ride of your life. If your mind is constantly at odds with who you are regardless of what you do, I’d say it’s time to spend time with it again.
One of the best things I did for myself when I started this personal development journey was to be intentional again, make that time and learn to live with it again. I’ve found that my mind is just trying to self-protect, in its comfort zone, watching out for its owner. This isn’t wrong but it can also be managed. Easing it outside of its comfort zone while reasoning with it, enables us to try more and experience fully all this life has to offer. But it requires us to be intentional. Recently, my family were checking out a little town market, and people had stalls set up selling a variety of goods from household items, knick knacks and even toys. My son got excited about some toys but couldn’t drum up the courage to ask what the price was. You see, he’s a little shy and his mind was probably telling him that strangers are not to be talked with, which caused him to be overwhelmed. As we got to talking, we addressed some concerns, and after some time, it seemed to click for him finally. We went and tried again, to his amazement, it was quite simple to just ask. In stepping outside of what his mind thought was comfortable, he was able to ask for the price, learn of a deal to get multiple for a cheaper price, and walked away with a smile. We must do the same with our minds whenever we’re faced with opportunities to step outside what we know to be “safe” and comfortable. Because it’s only when we do that, do we get the best deals in life or know what deals to avoid. If you’re ever looking for another person’s perspective, feedback and guidance in stepping outside of your comfort zone, I’d love to be your ally. Shoot me a message and we can have a conversation about it. "The need for meaning and purpose is No. 1," Professor Rozanski adds. "It's the deepest driver of well-being there is."
A strong life purpose was defined as, “a self-organizing life aim that stimulates goals.” This isn’t just some person’s opinion or assumption but rather based on a study done in 2006 that lasted 4 years (hit me up & I can send you the study). They found that people without a strong life purpose were more than twice as likely to die compared with those who had one. Even more interesting, the association between a low level of purpose in life & death remained true despite how rich or poor participants were, even regardless of gender, race, or education level! And on top of this, the association is so strong that having a life purpose appears to be more important for decreasing risk of death than drinking, smoking or exercising regularly! Read that again and let it sink in. Well, duh, right? When we know ourselves inside and out, maximize the potential within and give the best of ourselves with great purpose, it gives us something to live for greater than ourselves selfishly. And the mere fact that whatever status of rich & poor, whatever color, gender or education level, one’s purpose supersedes them all. If you’re reading this and are on the outside looking in, wondering when your life is going to make sense, it’s time to dig deeper; don’t scroll on through, lean in. I also want to make myself available to you because this is an area God has walked me through specifically and enabled me to walk others through in my coaching practice. Don’t let doubt sink in and make you miss this opportunity. Take hold of it now and reach out. See you on the other side. Your true identity matters in what you do.
If you believe yourself to be a failure, purposeless and lost, you’ll be aimlessly wandering finding validations in your life to affirm that which you believe about yourself. There’s a reason why all the first few sessions of coaching transformations I get to be a part of involves talking about identity. Identity can either weigh us down or unleash us into our destiny. What we believe about ourselves matters greatly. Most of what people carry for an identity came at an early age, spoken about them or given them by others, or even a projection of what others believe to be best for them. I would know because I grew up with a belief about myself that I couldn’t do anything right. As such, I would never fully acknowledge or celebrate the work that I did no matter how successful. And do you know where I got all this from? My mother’s unrealistic standards for dishes I put on a dish drying rack as a child doing chores growing up. My work would always be met with a sigh, rearrangement of the dishes and subtle digs at how I’d placed them. I would strive for her approval each time and never did I get it, or did it get remotely close. And guess what? I didn’t realize how much this hindered me until I got coaching into it from my own coach some 25 years later in life. I can’t describe all the work I've done, most of which I’ve thrown away, and the lack of progress I’ve made in life from this one belief I held. Now just imagine for yourself, growing up as a child, many parents just “NO” their way through it. Over time, a child is going to think “NO” about everything they do. They can’t. They shouldn’t. They don’t. It doesn’t open the door to possibilities, nor does it inspire creativity or action; it limits & withholds. If you’re feeling stuck or feel like there’s gotta be more to life, identity may be what’s holding you back. Shoot me a message and we’ll talk about how I can help you find the breakthrough you seek. |
AuthorMy name is Theophilus Zhuang and I'm a transformational coach who loves speaking about legacy and life purpose. My belief is that life is best lived from the inside and in maximal alignment to for utmost fulfillment. Here you'll find my musings. Archives
February 2023
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